14th June 2006

"Prangggg"


Silence... I was shocked. I tried to listen where was the noise came from. After a day at work, I went back home, laid my back on the bed while Kakak and Coan bathing in the toilet in my bedroom. It was okay a moment ago. They were gigling and laughing. I usually discouraged them to bathe together. But today, they insisted and I approved it. Though I didn't allow them, they always bathe together and so far, there were no problem at all. But today...


"Ummi!!! saaakit!!! saaakitnyaaaa!!! addduuuhhh!! ummiii!! sakittttttt!! addduuhhhhh!!!!


I quickly woke up from bed and rushed to the toilet. I saw the blood flooding the floor. Then I looked at Coan who was weeping in pain. Her chest, leg and knee were blooded. The most came from underneath her knee. The blood flew like tap water. I looked at Kakak. Her foot blooded, not as much as Coan. I was wondering, how could that happened. Then, I looked at the sink. There was no more sink. It was the sink that crushed on the floor. I trembled.


"Ya Allah.... tu la ummi dah cakap tak boleh mandi berdua. tak nak dengar... tengok apa jadi...Ya Allah... macam mana sink jatuh kakak??" I asked in quiver while looking here and there, uncertain of what to do.



"Coan nak tengok cermin. nak tengok lipstick yang dia pakai. Dia panjat lah sink. lepas tu sink jatuh... sink kena coan. kakak pun kena jugak..." Kakak explained in fear.



Abang was not home yet. Either he was at work or at the golf course. I took my handphone and called abang.



"Abang!! Abang.... abang kat mana? Abang tak balik lagi ke?"



"Belum... kenapa?"



"Abang.... balik la cepat.. Coan jatuh sink ni. penuh darah.." I wept.



"Hah? Okay la.. tunggu.." Abang said in calm


I went to look for my kids. I wanted to hold Coan but I afraid that I would only make it worse for her. Is it safe? Will I make her leg broken? I didn't know how serious her injury was. I was still looking here and there when suddenly it hit my mind to get help from my neighbor.


"Duduk sini dulu diam diam. Jangan pegi mana-mana. Tunggu ummi okay!" I told my kids.


I went out the room and run outside (I lived in a semi-D house in Bkt Rngn. So, I didn't have to go that far to call for my neighbor)


"Kak!! Kak Izan!! Kak Izan!!" I shouted


The husband came out.


"Ya, ada apa?"


"Kak Izan ada?" the nervous me.


"Ada. jap ye..."


Kak Izan came out.


"Ya neeza..." the cool (as she always is) Kak Izan


"Kak.... anak neeza berdarah kak.." me, trembling.


"Hah??? Mana?" Kak Izan looked at the road. She thought my daughter had an accident on the road.


"Dia kat dalam kak. Dia jatuh sink" almost cried.


Kak Izan came to my house. I went in and found out Coan had already walked to the front door. The blood was all over the floor.


"Coan!!!! Kenapa keluar??? kan Ummi suruh duduk dalam!!" I shouted and carried her in. I held her underarms coz' I was worried if I held her body, I would have broken her leg.


Kak Izan went in.


"Ya Allah!!! Macam mana boleh jadi macam ni??" Kak Izan shouted after looking at the blood on the floor.


"Budak budak ni kaaakk... mandi sama-sama dalam toilet. Neeza kat luar. Coan panjat sink. Sink jatuh kena Coan. Sophea pun kena jugak kat kaki.."


I can't stop my tears. I really felt like, I was the worst mother in the world. How could I let that happened. If only I was firm enough not to let them bathe together. If only I bathed them myself instead of letting them alone. If only and if only... Its too late. The accident already occured.


"Neeza!! Ada kain tak?" Kak Izan was trying to help


"Kain apa kak?" I really cried


"Dah tu... takde apa... bagi la tuala ke.. apa apa kain la...akak nak balut Coan ni. Nak hentikan darah.." Kak Izan figured out something.


I walked here and there. My brain shut. I saw a towel hanged on the chair. I took the towel and gave it to Kak Izan.


"Towel ni boleh kak?" I asked


"Guna lagi ke towel ni..?" I wasn't paying attention that Kak Izan actually asked for a used cloth to stop the bleeding.


"Takpelah kak.. pakai aje lah.." I was standing there as if Coan was not my daughter. I just looked at Kak Izan wrapped the towel around Coan and hugged her tight. Then she asked.


"Shahril mana? Dah telefon dia ke?" Kak Izan asked


"Dah kak. Dia on the way balik"


"Abis. macam mana ni? nak bawak hospital ke?"


"Bawak clinic dulu la kot. kalau apa apa hal, baru bawak hospital" I suggested without thinking


When Kak Izan said 'hospital' I was thinking about the GH. I imagined that I had to wait for the staff to come and help. Besides, I always had this fear of going to the GH. I don't know why. Everytime I went to GH, I imagine corpses, I imagine the worst accident that I've ever seen.. all bad images come into mind. Kak Izan was actually referring to the KMC (private hospital).


Kak Izan's husband came in. He wanted to bring us to the clinic. I asked Kak Izan's husband to drive my car. As soon as we went into the car, Abang came back. Kak Izan's husband came out from the car and abang went in. While driving, abang asked me,


"Nak pegi mana ni? clinic ke KMC?"


"KMC?? nak pergi KMC ke? clinic tak boleh?" I wasn't thinking at all.


"Baik pergi KMC. kalau pergi clinic, nanti dia mungkin refer ke hospital jugak. Baik terus pergi sana..." abang suggested


"Haah. betul tu neeza.."


Kak Izan agreed to abang's suggestion. It was Kak Izan who hold Coan all the way to the hospital. Kakak (Sophea) sit with me in the front seat. I glanced at Coan once in a while.


"Coan okay ke? Nape Coan diam? Coan pengsan ke kak?"


"Ish... tak la.."


Coan was so quiet when Kak Izan hold her. I scared that she would have fainted for bleeding too much.


"Coan cakap la dengan ummi. kenapa diam aje..?"


"Takpe... biarkan.. dia terkejut tu.." Kak Izan tried to comfort me.


When we arrived, abang stopped the car in the front door. By right, we were not supposed to park our car there. But, since it was an emergency case, it was okay to do so. Abang scooped Coan up and run to the emergency room. Everyone looked (biasa la tu - the curious M@laysian). Abang was told to put Coan inside the ER. With the towel wrapped around her, Coan was so quiet. At the age of 4, I was sure she didn't quite understand things that happened to her.


The MO came and spent about 5 minutes with her. Then she came to me and asked,


"Bila last dia makan? ada dalam 4 jam tak?"


"Hmmm... dalam pukul 4 petang kat nursery tadi. Nape doctor?" I was curious


"Kami tak boleh buat apa-apa. Kami tak pasti luka dia seteruk mana. Jadi, kami kena panggil Orthopedik untuk buat ni. Dia kena masuk bilik bedah. Tapi dia tak boleh makan sekurang-kurangnya 4 jam. 4 jam..... Dalam pukul 8 boleh la kot..." The MO explained.


I felt like crying when the doctor told me they needed to bring my girl to the Operation Theatre (OT) but I had to be strong. I knew my little girl very well. The words like doctors, hospital, clinics, injection are horror to her and now, she had to undergo an operation! I could imagine the scream and shout of my Coan...


After a while, nurses came with a stretcher. They put Coan there and ready to push her to the OT. She cried and held my hand tight while laying on the stretcher. I was able to be with Coan until the waiting area of the OT. Coan was still crying. Then the doctor came and asked me to leave since they were ready to perform the surgery. Coan screamed when I walked out.


"Ummmmiiiiiiii!!!! ummmmiiiiiiii!!!! ummmmmiiii!!!!"


My tear dropped like rain. I didn't look at Coan anymore. The door was closed but I could still hear her weeping voice. I sit on the bench outside alone. Abang went home to send Kak Izan. Also, he had to pack my clothes and Coan's since we definitely needed to stay there for at least 3 days.


I remembered it was Wednesday. I still had to work on Thursday and Friday before the weekend came. I picked my phone, looked for my immediate boss phone number. None! Then I dialed my big boss number. No ring tone at all. She must have off the phone, I thought. Then I called a collague, to ask for my immediate boss number. Before I was able to get the number, I had to explain everything to her. I couldn't speak properly since I was sobbing. My friend kept telling me to be patient.


I finally managed to call my boss and told him that I wouldn't be able to come the next day and may be the day after. He told me I could take as many days I wish. Too much laaa boss.... I used up my AL okay... the leave isn't free, I thought. But, he was really kind. A few others called and asked about my girl's condition. How fast the news spreaded... I also informed my parents and siblings about the incident. They were shocked and promised to come and visit.


The operation took about an hour. It was the Orthopedic who came out and approached me. I stood up and went closer. He explained,


"Dia masih tak sedar tu. Tadi, tendon dia putus dan kami dah jahit untuk sambung semula. Saya terpaksa letak cast pada kaki dia supaya dia tak boleh bengkok kan kaki. Kalau orang tua, cast tu dekat lutut aje tapi sebab dia budak, saya letak dari peha sampai bawah."


"Apa maksud tu doctor?" I didn't understand


"Tendon tu kalau putus, ada kemungkinan dia tak boleh berjalan dengan betul atau tak boleh jalan langsung. Tapi sebab dia budak, bila kita jahit, senang sembuh dan sel masih baru. Hati-hati supaya dia tak bergerak banyak" he added


Frankly, I didn't quite understand but when he said, 'tak boleh jalan langsung' I felt so bad. A few minutes after that, I heard her weeping voice but rather slow this time.


"Ummiiiiii...... ummiiiiii......" not as loud as before the operation.


The door was opened and the nurse asked me to go in. They had pushed her to the waiting area. The operation finished and Coan had already woke up, not fully awake though. She was still in drowsiness. I could see she tried to lift her leg. Perhaps, she could feel the burden on the leg. The cast was all the way from her upper thigh down her left foot. Pity my little girl... I couldn't stand looked at her leg casted like that. My eyes watered. I controlled but the tear dropped and kept dropping fast.


I hugged her and consoled her but she kept crying. She asked me to lift her up but I was afraid I would make it worse for her. The cast would have broken. What about the leg. Is it safe for me to lift her? I just bent my body and caress her, hoping that she would sleep. But, she kept crying and telling me it was painful.


"Ummiii... sakitttt.... ummi.... sakitttt...." she wept in drowsiness


Abang came. We decided to bring her to the ward. She still wept when nurses put her on the bed. The nurse injected pain killer on her hand. Soon after that, she went to sleep. After that, Abang went back since Kakak had to go to school the next day. Coan was supposed to go to school (kindergarten) too but with her condition, its just not possible.


At night, whenever she was awake, she cried. She wanted to move but the leg made it difficult for her. It made her very frustrated.


The next day, while I was reading a magazine, Coan asked my permission to go down the bed. I told her not too. But, not after a minute, I saw Coan was already down. My eyes rounded. She moved her body using her b*tt bit by bit and finally managed to go down. She dragged fet left foot to be able to walk.


The doctor came when she was looking out the window.


"Hah?? Dah turun katil. Tak boleh niii...." the doctor told her.


But, my 4 year old daughter wouldn't understand that. Her life is full of fun - running, climbing and jumping! She can't sit still. Its just not her (ikut perangai ummi masa kecik la ni. Asyik memanjat aje... heheheheee)


Doctor inspected her leg. The cast moved a bit and she was able to bend her knee a bit.


"Kita kena tukar la cast ni. Saya buat keliling pulak. kat bawah ni saya biarkan kosong supaya ada angin dapat masuk" the doctor suggested.


The next day, we went to the ER (the cast was done there). Doctor cut the first cast and put a new one. Cool stuff! It was only like a cloth at first. When the water was put, it harden. Like putting water on in cement its just that this one looks like a hard plastic.


After 4 days stayed in KMC, Coan was allowed to go home, provided she took all the prescribed medicine and took care of her leg.


After a few follow up visits and after a new cast was put again (yes, because Coan moved a lot as well as the cast), the leg healed. Still, doctor reminded Coan not to jump anymore. Coan is Coan. Jumping is her life. Until now she still like to jump, run and climb. She even climbed her closet and sit at the top (it was a 7 feet closet). I just hope nothing serious happen to her again.